Posts Tagged ‘Hillary Clinton’

The result of the recent presidential election resembles nothing in the history of the United States. It looks more like the final convulsions of the ruling white elites in Rhodesia and South Africa. This resemblance doesn’t help me sleep at night.

Lucky has his back to the wall.

Barack Obama, whom I admire, urged the nation to keep an open mind about our new commander-in-chief. Keep an open mind about a man who does not read. A man who has never had a pet. A man who has bragged about not wasting any time raising his own children. Has he ever played with his kids? What music does he like? (I know what he’d say: “Only the best!”) He is the fattest man to hold the office since William Howard Taft got stuck in his bathtub.

Note: William Howard Taft never got stuck in his bathtub; that story was invented years after his death. But he did own a custom-built bathtub that four non-Tafts could sit in.

Each half of our politically divided country voted for a candidate that made the other half want to kick a hole in a stained glass window. From here to eternity, will each side spend its years in power dismantling the work of the other? I am so flabbergasted by this election that I am reduced to quoting Sting, God help me:

“We all sink or we all float. We are all in the same big boat.”

In the alternate universe that has inexplicably ejected me, Hillary Clinton is right now selecting experienced, serious, boring people to help her run the government. In the universe where I’ve landed like Dorothy and Toto in their windblown house, our new leader is picking weirdos with no experience in what they’ve been picked for. That worked well during Hurricane Katrina so I won’t spend another second worrying about it.

“The revolution will not be televised,” Gil Scott-Heron told us. He was wrong. “But it will put you in the driver’s seat.” Maybe. But what is the nature of the man who is now behind the wheel?

No more politics.

Let’s talk about…chess!

Bone-crunching industrial thud machine Magnus Carlsen holds world championship with move so awesome that the planet increased its rotation and now the day is an hour shorter
In case you haven’t been keeping up with current events, Magnus Carlsen won the last game of the championship against Sergey Karjakin by sacrificing his queen, motherfuckers. When has that ever happened in championship chess? How about never! Not in 130 years!

No one has ever won the world championship on the last move in the last game by saying Oh I don’t need this thing anymore and then sacrificing the strongest piece on the board. The 13-year-old Bobby Fischer sacrificed his queen for a rook, two bishops, and a pawn in 1956 in what was later called “The Game of the Century,” and yeah it was stunning but it wasn’t the world championship, was it? It was not!

Are you getting this now? Do you understand that less than a month after reality shifted on November 8, reality shifted AGAIN this week, or do I have to come over there and clap your heads together like chalkboard erasers?

I have to reach into another sport to find something comparable. Travel with me now to the 1960 World Series, when the Pittsburgh Pirates, losing to the New York Yankees in game 7, came back IN THE BOTTOM OF THE NINTH thanks to Bill Mazeroski’s homerun – the only World Series to end with a homerun.

But Carlsen is even more amazing than Maz because Carlsen ONLY NEEDED A DRAW in that game to keep his title. He could’ve played it safe. He chose not to. You can bet your ass and six of your goats that this is why Magnus Carlsen is a champion and Run-DMSteve is an idiot blogger.

A blunder by Emma gives Sailor the win!

I’m back, my friends. Thanks for sticking around, all three of you. I was immersed in an eight-week novel-writing class, faced another emergency in Antique Parent Land, endured my worst Thanksgiving in 36 years, and played with my dog. Details to come, along with more of the forgettable musical opinions you crave.

I hope you’re all well and following your dreams instead of that person who got the restraining order against you. Happy holidays!

Random Pick of the Day
Hillary Clinton.


Random Pick of the Day
Sonny Rollins, Saxophone Colossus (1956)
This milestone in postwar jazz whacks you in the head and throws you up on the roof with the Frisbees. It’s usually seen as a showcase for Rollins and his tenor sax, but the whole quartet is spectacular, particularly Tommy Flanagan on piano and Max Roach on drums. Max Roach must have had a Max Roach clone playing alongside him to lay down all those grooves.

I don’t know how to judge the bass player, Doug Watkins. I can only assume that Sonny, Tommy, and Max wouldn’t have let Doug join in their reindeer games unless he was spectacular, too.

This brilliant set was recorded in one fucking day in Hackensack, New Jersey.


Mr. Wm Seabrook holds down the U.K. desk for Run-DMSteve Worldwide. He’s performing within acceptable parameters, despite his occasional musical lapses (Béla Bartók). In response to my last post about things I have lived long enough to see (which I wrote the day after Hillary Clinton became the Democratic Party’s candidate for president), Wm writes:

I would add to the list:

  • Moon landing
  • Destruction of the Berlin Wall
  • A black president…in South Africa

Excellent choices, Wm. I see what you’re getting at, but I only had to live 14 years to get to the Moon landing, whereas it took me 53 years to arrive at Barack Obama’s inauguration as pesident.

But your list has made me think of even more things I have lived long enough to see:

  • The Mars Rover
  • The International Space Station
  • The Muslim mayor of London
  • The teenage prime minister of Canada

Wm adds this question: “But why is Hillary Clinton seen as so divisive in the U.S.?”

It would be easier to sequence the human genome from stone knives and bear skins than to offer a definitive answer, but I’ll give it a try.

An Englishman’s guide to why Hillary Clinton is so divisive
A preliminary study by Run-DMSteve

  1. She’s a woman.
  2. She’s an ambitious woman. She craves power.
  3. She’s an ambitious woman who won’t defer to ambitious men who crave power.
  4. She refused to shut up while her husband was president.
  5. She doesn’t know how to use email. She forwarded “100 Reasons Why Kirk Is Better Than Picard” to Kim Jong-un!
  6. While she was in the State Dept., she was a terrible secretary. She always forgot to order paper for the printers and she mixed up everyone’s plane reservations.
  7. When Bill ran for president in 1992, his campaign’s theme song was Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow.” Fleetwood Mac promptly re-formed and went on tour. The Republicans have been waiting 25 years to use this one against her.
  8. Her husband cheated on her.
  9. She didn’t divorce his ass when he cheated on her.
  10. Why is Hillary Clinton so divisive? For the same reason Capt. Janeway never got her own movie: She’s a woman.

I hope this helps, Wm.

We also heard from:

Run-DMSteve Platinum Club member Accused of Lurking, who writes about our list: “I’m still waiting for an end to hunger” (what a compassionate man) “and the popularization of personal jet packs” (what a self-absorbed twit).

A rookie, Dr. D, who suggests “DC United wins a fifth MLS Cup.” That’s their real name? In a city that can’t agree on the time of day or the color of the sky, their team is called DC United?

And, finally, SexySandersGuy4788, who says, “Never give up! Never surrender!” I know why you boys are so angry. You joined the Bernie Sanders campaign to get laid, didn’t you? Nerds!

Random Pick of the Day 1
Laura Nyro, Gonna Take a Miracle (1970)
LaBelle recorded seven albums on their own, but they were at their best at the dawn of their career when they backed Laura Nyro, particularly on Nyro’s covers of “Dancing in the Street,” “Nowhere to Run,” and “Jimmy Mack.” You older kids will be out of your chair in seconds, singing and dusting off your Shirelles moves. Fuck you, Fleetwood Mac! Nyro’s version of “Spanish Harlem” is another standout. If you loved the music on Carole King’s Tapestry, you’ll love Laura Nyro’s Gonna Take a Miracle.

Random Pick of the Day 2
Girlschool, The Very Best of Girlschool (2012)
British female pioneers of heavy metal who took up arms in the prehistoric year of 1978. Listening to these 14 songs sent me into a pleasant dream where Deep Purple chilled with Joy Division in ZZ Top’s garage. Probably best suited for serious scholars of metal, though “Demolition Boys” from their 1980 debut, Demolition, seriously rocks.

Random Pan of the Day
The Raincoats, The Raincoats (1980)
Another all-female British group. The Raincoats were punk and post-punk. On this, their debut album, they chant like Siouxsie & The Banshees and sing like The Roches. They’re not good at either. Not recommended even for historians, though some of these songs (“Black and White,” for example) are catchy, at least for a little while. The Raincoats’ cover of The Kinks’ “Lola” is the high point. But c’mon, girls, it’s all the same key, I think.


Women chess masters.

The return of the Kalakala.

They finally fixed the entrance to Interstate 195 in Providence that has been trying to kill me since I learned how to drive.

The Red Sox won the World Series.

Gay marriage.

A black man in the White House.

A woman as the presidential nominee of a major political party.


I’m looking forward to updating this list in November!