All right ramblers, let’s get ramblin’. I thought ’70s Week and ’80s Week went pretty well, so it’s time to dive into ’90s Week. Yes, the 1990s, when my house was worth a billion dollars and I grew obscenely rich at my dot-com. I don’t even own that house anymore and the only traces of the dot-com are the baseball caps we made with our logo on them, one of which I gave to Accused of Lurking, who is still walking around underneath it in Seattle.

Many scientists have concluded that the ’70s gave us the worst music of all time. This is because the ’70s gave us the worst music of all time. It’s hard to beat “Muskrat Love” or “You’re Having My Baby,” but the ’90s tried: “Achy Breaky Heart,” the “Macarena,” “Ice Ice Baby,” “Barbie Girl,” “My Heart Will Go On,” “I Will Always Love You,” and forced participation in the “Electric Slide” at corporate team-building retreats. This was a very complicated decade. You know, a lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-yous.

Random ’90s Pick of the Day
Various artists, For the Masses (1998)
This Depeche Mode tribute CD taught me how good Depeche Mode’s songs were if you could just get somebody else to play them. The highlights come from Failure (“Enjoy the Silence,” an ironic choice for a moody but extremely noisy band) and Rammstein (who pump some Armageddon-level hysteria into “Stripped”).

Random ’90s Pan of the Day
Britney Spears, …Baby One More Time (1999)
I’m convinced that this broad is responsible for two horrors of the new century, Justin Bieber and Katy Perry. I’m also pretty sure that Justin Bieber and Katy Perry are the same person.

Punchline from a ’90s radio commercial at Christmastime
[Harp music, animals, muted violins.] “Angels. Animals. The baby in the manger…[shredding guitar and devil voice]…and MEGADETH!”

First rule of ’90s Week: There are no rules in ’90s Week. See you tomorrow.

  1. Regina says:

    Dude. I may be a day late and a dollar short, seeing as I am posting this after you have posted tht you are no longer posting. However, it must be pointed out that Whitney was not the first to sing “I Will Always Love You.” Sorry, but MANY decades ago, Dolly Parton wrote and recorded and had a major hit with this song. Dolly has been quoted thanking Whitney for putting the song back in the money. Either the 90’s were not ready for the song, or Whitney just could not match Dolly’s delivery. At any rate, I doubt you ever listened to Dolly’s version. Check it out – if you can find a country album in your collection!

    • Run-DMSteve says:

      You are never late or short, particularly when you’re wearing your I Am Your Manager So Just Sit Your Ass Down and Do It shoes. Thank you for pointing out that “I Will Always Love You” has a long and tragic pedigree. I could listen to Ms. Parton’s original, but as this blog is a volunteer enterprise I believe I won’t. Your word is good enough for me. Seriously, it does add evidence to my theory that as pop gets older it increasingly mines its own past as a way to move forward. During ’90s Week I reviewed or at least mentioned two tribute CDs: Graham Parsons (’60s and ’70s) and Depeche Mode (’80s).

      When this blog resumes I will run photos of your new puppy, assuming I can work up a music angle. I’ve managed to do it with my dogs so why not with yours?

  2. Michael Eichner says:

    Britney Spears is definitely responsible for many horrors (like sexually liberating ten year olds), however I’m not holding her accountable for spawning a girly man and a manly girl – that would be Madonna’s fault.

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