You say that Magnus Carlsen is a bad mother – (Shut your mouth!)

Posted: November 9, 2018 in chess
Tags: , ,

I know what you’ve been thinking. “Will an American ever again play for the world chess championship?” It hasn’t happened since Bobby Fischer dethroned Boris Spassky in 1972. There hasn’t even been a native English speaker in the challenger’s seat since the UK’s Nigel Short lost to Garry Kasparov in 1993.

What’s held this country back? Poor preparation? Lack of talent? The caravan of Republicans who want to steal our health care?

Today, the wait ended.

Norway’s Magnus Carlsen, who looks like Thor and has his own line of clothing, is defending his crown against our own Fabiano Caruana, who skipped high school to play chess and who looks like one of the statisticians at

Fabiano and Magnus surrounded by the fake news media.

This 12-game match has global video coverage, merch, a logo, an alternative logo (NSFW), an ump, a deputy ump, a website that’s the best mix of the ’90s and ’00s, dramatic close-ups of the players as they worry and drink from their water bottles, and commentary by some annoying people. The match was scheduled for National Family Caregivers Month because with this level of excitement you’re going to need all the care partners you can get.

To help reduce workplace and family disruption, the Fédération Internationale des Échecs or World Chess Federation has designated me as your personal point person.

Prepared to be awed. Though not, perhaps, by Game 1.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s