Archive for the ‘Miscellaneous’ Category

“I am what I am. Thank God.” – Jimi Hendrix, “Message to Love”

A co-worker entered my humble cubicle one day late in 2012 and said, “Flashback!” He was looking at the two shelves above my desk, which held a row of CDs, a display of old postcards, and the Pets.com Sock Puppet Spokesthing. While he gushed about these ancient cultural artifacts, I saw my possessions through his eyes. I realized that I could’ve decorated my space the same way at the job I had in 2000. In fact, I know I did.

I’m stuck in time!

In an email later that morning to this co-worker, after stating that I didn’t care what he thought of me, I wrote without even thinking “I’m through being cool!” and hit Send. Then I thought, Oh no, it’s Devo! I’m really stuck in time.

Rather than consider what all this says about me, let’s use it as an excuse to go back to the future. Welcome to 1986 Week, commemorating that stellar year when, as Paul Simon sang on Graceland, “I was single/and life was great!”*

Most of the artists I loved in the ’80s released nothing new in 1986. Echo & The Bunnymen, The Psychedelic Furs, The Cure, U2, Prince, and Bruce Springsteen held off until 1987 (when Prince gave us Sign ’O’ the Times, his equivalent of The White Album, and U2 gave us their masterpiece, The Unforgettable Fire**).

The B-52s didn’t record again until 1989, but in 1986 The Rolling Stones dressed up just like them.

Dirty Work

By 1986 Romeo Void had broken up. David Bowie and Michael Jackson had left the bulk of their best work behind. Gary Numan had left all of his best work behind. Robert Cray debuted with Strong Persuader, though I prefer what he did later. Duran Duran released Notorious, which was notorious for being awful. I refuse to listen to Madonna’s True Blue or Boston’s Third Stage. I can’t decide which is funnier, The Beastie Boys’ Licensed to Ill or Metallica’s Master of Puppets. I’ll get to Depeche Mode, The Pretenders, Paul Simon, Talking Heads, and Siouxsie & The Banshees as 1986 Week progresses.

What was the best song of 1986? Yo, pretty ladies around the world: Put your hands in the air like you just don’t care for Cameo’s “Word Up!”

Don’t expect 1986 Week to last all week. Don’t expect a comprehensive survey. Don’t get all army-foldy on me, either.

As we used to say in the peculiar slang we employed back in 1986: See you tomorrow!

* Special D is fond of quoting that line to me. Hey doll: “I sure do love you/let’s get that straight.”
** A tip of the critic’s pointy hat to my friend and fellow softball player Donald Keller, who put “mantlepiece” in my head whenever I want to say “masterpiece.” 

Random 1986 Pick of the Day
The Chills, Kaleidoscope World
1986 gave us albums from The Chills, The Cramps, and The Creeps. This reminds me of an evening I spent at Fenway Park in 1979 when we had three pitchers on hand named Clear, Frost, and Rainey.

I don’t know a thing about Kaleidoscope World; I just needed a Chills album from 1986 to fit my theme. The album I have heard is Submarine Bells (1990), which has two lovely pop songs, “Singing in My Sleep” and “Heavenly Pop Hit” (nice try, boys).

Random 1986 Pan of the Day
Stan Ridgway, The Big Heat
I must honor this man for rhyming “Tijuana” with “barbecued iguana” in Wall of Voodoo’s “Mexican Radio.” Sadly, on his solo debut he sounds like The B-52s’ Fred Schneider with really bad hair.

My parents sell hardware and housewares at a flea market. They’ve been doing this for 30 years. They’re now well into their 80s. This is probably what keeps them going, the trek every Sunday to the old warehouse where they banter with their neighboring dealers and try to extract money from the strolling looky-loos.

They started out at a flea market on Cape Cod, so naturally they carried lots of rope for boaters. Manila, nylon, polypropylene, pre-packed in plastic bags or hanked by Dad, in widths up to 1-1/2”. Dad even built a machine to measure and cut off set lengths of rope.

But Dad’s doctor told him he was ruining his health hauling their merchandise from the house to the flea market and back again. Dad compromised by finding an indoor flea market where they could keep their stuff locked up during the week. Unfortunately, this flea market was inland, which meant no boaters and no demand for all the rope they had left. This stuff lay coiled in cardboard produce boxes stacked in our basement. These stacks created narrow valleys down which I walked with fear and loathing, knowing that someday they would all belong to me. It didn’t help that Dad had no inventory. It’s tough to lure customers when you can’t tell them what you have but you can tell them they’ll have to travel underground to get it.

It also doesn’t help that my parents are natural-born packrats. If they could catch something, they’d keep it. When I first brought Special D home to meet them, they brought out their wedding photos, my baby photos, and a piece of wood into which I’d banged nails when I was 3. Given all that and the Mogen David they served us at dinner (in paper cups), I’m surprised that I ever got married.

Never underestimate the healing power of art
In January I placed an ad on Craigslist to try to sell some rope. Surely I could find someone with a sense of adventure and a willingness to be surprised? The first few inquiries led nowhere, but then I was contacted by Yasmin, who represented an artists’ collective in nearby New Bedford. They were building a sculpture to honor New Bedford’s waterfront and fishermen, but when they went shopping for rope they went into sticker shock. Yasmin was delegated to find dirt cheap rope, fast. She turned to Craigslist.

Dad was skeptical at first, and hated the idea of just giving the rope away. (I asked Yasmin for a token payment of $50.) But Dad had been staring at these boxes for 20 years with no ideas on how to move them out of his life, and he had finally had enough. Without any persuasion from me, he agreed to what was essentially a donation. I arranged for Yasmin and her two cohorts to come for the rope while I was visiting in February.

There was snow everywhere on the frigid afternoon when the three women arrived in their van. Dad couldn’t believe it. “They need a panel truck! And where are their husbands! They can’t lift these boxes!” But Yasmin, Stacy, and Elizabeth were all mothers in their 30s. They knew how to handle this situation (or any other). They made a fuss over Dad, thanked him for his service (he was wearing his WORLD WAR II VETERAN hat), and took his picture. I quickly learned that all you have to do is stand next to your elderly father and kind-hearted women will immediately say, “Oh what a good son!” Then they started hefting boxes and climbing the stairs out of that dusty underworld. I pitched in, too, even though Dad kept saying, “Stevie, put that down, it’s heavy!”

We filled the van with 25 boxes. Topside, in the fresh, icy air, the ladies pooled their cash and came up with $150. When they brought it down to Dad in the basement, he was thrilled! Plus they’re coming back in a month for the rest of the load – another 25 boxes. When they do, Mom will serve them tea and they can all sit around and admire the cat. And in July, when our family gathers at the old homestead, we’ll convoy to New Bedford to see what all this rope has wrought. My father, patron of the arts.

You can’t go home again, but you can enjoy the occasional bulletin
Here comes the second miracle. With all those boxes gone, I could see into the core of the basement for the first time since Bush invaded Panama. There sat two huge blue tables that Dad had bought at auction years ago, disassembled, reassembled in the basement, and then left to their own devices. They had high backs – they’d originally been used at the post office to sort mail. They stand out, when nothing is standing around them to blot them out. I felt as if we’d uncovered an ancient shoreline.

The tables had accumulated a fair share of boxes and bags. Some subterranean tug at my memory drew me to them. I spotted a sealed box with my name on it. Inside I found all the letters I received in the 1970s, all of my school papers, all of the columns I wrote for the town newspaper, birthday cards, negatives, and even my high school diploma. I thought all this had been lost! No, I packed it away at the end of 1979, right before I moved to Seattle.

There are chambers in the tombs of the pharaohs that are filled from floor to ceiling with nothing more than 3,000 years of drifting motes of dust. Something like that happened in the house where I grew up. The boxes kept stacking until my box disappeared. I had no visual cue to remind me.

Everything that comes out of my parents’ house and into the light of day tickles the nose with mold. I opened an old toolbox on this trip that smelled like a Mordor air freshener. Whatever I bring back to Portland I’ll have to copy and then throw away the original. But I’m thrilled to be able to read again all the letters my girlfriend Judy wrote me in 1979 and look over my newspaper columns, which were excruciatingly sincere, and to find the sentence I wrote at 15 that launched my career as a music critic: “Rock ’n’ roll, basically, is amplified rhythm.”

My nephew once told me that he wanted to make a discovery in his grandparents’ basement. I told him as kindly as I could that there was nothing down there to discover. Guess again, Stevie. The lesson here is that you never know when you’re going to make a discovery, but if you close your mind to the possibility, you definitely won’t.

And that’s what I did on my midwinter vacation.

Basement old PO tables Feb 2013

Update: Our New Bedford artists did indeed return for the rest of the rope. Here’s Dad standing triumphant in one of the new gaps in the basement:

King of the Basement April 2013

Obviously there’s still plenty of stuff for everybody.

“New Bedford Harbor in a New Light” runs from May 21 to August 22, 2013. I can’t wait to see it!

I concluded ’70s Week with a list of my favorite songs and ’80s Week with a survey of women in rock, but ’90s Week is just over, period. This is not because I don’t like the music of the 1990s, because I do. But the ’90s was the first decade where I realized that I didn’t understand the trends in popular music. I don’t have the emotional investment in this decade, which I guess should be no surprise given that I was 34 when the ’90s began. I was old enough to have other things to obsess about.

There are many topics worth writing about in the ’90s (three that immediately suggest themselves are Whitney Houston, *NSYNC, and what happened to Bruce Springsteen), but they’re going to have to wait. Why? Because if I’m ever going to build momentum on my novel, I’m going to have to give up something. Wife? No. Job? No. Hygiene? See Wife. Blogs? Oh yeah, those.

Starting today, Run-DMSteve and The Nervous Breakdown have gone fishin’. If I make substantial progress on my book I’ll be back in 2013. Thank you all for reading along and commenting and correcting me and inflating my sense of self-worth. This is my 74th post since November 2010, a breakneck pace of 2.34 posts per month. I couldn’t have done it without you, and I mean that. You’re my soul and my hheaart’ss inspiration.

As George Washington said in his “Farewell to the Troops”: Farewell, troops!

Random ’90s Pick of the Day
Los Lobos, The Neighborhood (1990)
Not their best record, but totally endearing. “Be Still” is a great whistling song for a Saturday morning. The swaggering final track, “The Neighborhood,” is actually a sweet benediction:

Thank you Lord for another day
Help my brother along his way
And please
bring peace
to the neighborhood 

Random ’90s Toss-up of the Day
The Psychedelic Furs, World Outside (1991)
After 20 years I can’t decide whether I like it or I’m just used to it, which is a neat trick given that some of these songs make me feel like I’m trapped in a plastic bag. Maybe it’s the relief when they’re over. Maybe they’re really good. Maybe it’s a tunnel to my youth. Just don’t come to this record expecting anything like the Furs’ breakout ’80s hit, “Pretty in Pink”!

The biggest change in music in the 1990s came from the Internet. This is not a secret. We flocked online when the first graphical user interface browser was introduced in 1993, and by 1999 you could listen to your favorite radio station by visiting their website. In fact, you didn’t need a real radio station at all. I found this out in 1999 when I went to work at Visio and met a graphic designer named David. Following the tradition of all people younger than me whom I trick into becoming my friends, he gave me a tip about music: Spinner.com. My life changed.

Spinner was an Internet radio station. Its only physical presence in my life (if this counts as physical) was the gorgeous red Deco-styled boom box that appeared on my computer screen once I downloaded their software. (There were no corporate firewalls in 1999. Or if there were, there wasn’t one at Visio Corp.) Spinner gave me, as I remember it, approximately three dozen channels divided by genre. Classic Rock, New Wave, indie, soul, neo-soul, baroque, romantic, West Coast jazz, big band, bebop, etc. While I worked I gobbled music like free donuts in the break room.

Whichever channel I was listening to, Spinner told me in a sort of CNN crawl on the boom box the song and the artist. This was particularly important to me because by 1999 mainstream radio djs had stopped giving this information so as to increase the time for commercials. The crawl also told me what the next song and artist on that channel would be and what was playing on some of my other channels.

There was no charge for Spinner, and there were few commercials.

Spinner introduced me to music I never knew existed. Country blues, for instance. This was blues from the 1920s through the ’40s made by poor whites from the South. I learned about trance, a form of electronica that Special D will not allow in the house. Trance, house, and acid jazz are genres you’d hear at a rave. Or so I am told. I’ve only been to one rave and that was in 1981, and we didn’t have the word “rave” yet. Or glowsticks. Or electricity. I suppose raves have changed a bit since then.

I became reacquainted with surf music, which was going through a renaissance, and met The Baronics. I learned much more jazz, immersed myself in Mozart, Telemann, and various other frilly-laced troublemakers, heard plenty of ’80s alternative and ’90s alternative (’80s wins) (assuming anyone can define “alternative”), and surprised myself with the Oldies channel. There were many songs from the ’60s that I didn’t know, and I was there! Chief among them was The Walker Brothers’ “The Sun Ain’t Gonna Shine Anymore,” which had completely escaped me. That song’s pretty good, I thought. My experience just shows you how oceanic is our culture. No matter how hip you are, you can never hope to swim in it all.

Spinner had its quirks. Playlists were limited. Erasure was in heavy rotation on the New Wave channel; they’re Tears for Fears on nitrous oxide. Peter & Gordon and Chad & Jeremy were fixtures among the Oldies, though I still can’t tell any of them apart. Spinner loved new albums, so I heard a lot of freshly minted music. Certain novelty numbers turned up frequently; one was Jonathan King’s “Everyone’s Gone to the Moon” from 1965. (Though Spinner never spun it, “Everyone’s Gone to the Moon” can’t compare to King’s cover of the Stones’ “Satisfaction” as done in the style of The Kinks from their Muswell Hillbillies album.)

But these barely qualify as flaws. I was in love.

Naturally, this situation couldn’t last. Spinner was assimilated into Napster and Napster into Netscape. They turned the cool boom box into a gray rectangle! Suddenly, the music was available to subscribers only, except for a free 90-minute block each day. I can’t blame Netscape for trying to make money from this venture. Eventually they locked out cheapskates like me, but by then (about 2004) I had discovered Rhapsody. Rhapsody has its problems but overall it’s worked for me for eight years. It’s an old friend now. An interesting, enlightening, cranky old friend.

Special D urged me to launch this blog, but David is the one who gave me the key to the highway. I have no idea what happened to him, but he probably went on to invent Pandora or Spotify. I should’ve stayed in touch – he could’ve given me a job!

Random ’90s Pick of the Day
Hole, Live Through This (1994)
If there’s a grunge formula, Hole follows it closely, but that doesn’t take away from this record’s cumulative power. There’s more anguish in Live Through This and in Courtney Love’s deceased husband, Kurt Cobain’s, Nevermind, than in all the rest of grunge. Nevermind (1991) was epic, but Live Through This is what I listen to. The line “I get what I want/and I never want it again” (“Violet”) is the flipside of U2’s “I gave you everything you ever wanted/it wasn’t what you wanted” (“So Cruel,” Achtung Baby, 1991).

Random ’90s Pan of the Day
Soundgarden, Superunknown (1994)
I can’t remember the last time I played this. I went looking for the CD last night and couldn’t find it. Oh well.

Tomorrow on ’90s Week: The road goes ever on? Not according to Rand-McNally!

I was very depressed today to read of Ray Bradbury’s death at 91. He’s a curious one – by the time he had written everything he’s ever going to be remembered for, he was about 32! He lived almost 60 years past his literary apex. Harper Lee is a bit similar; she wrote To Kill a Mockingbird when she was 34. Today she’s 86. Bradbury kept writing, Lee didn’t.

These numbers are interesting, just as it’s interesting to know that Bradbury’s first success was a short story called “Homecoming” that he sold to Mademoiselle in 1947. It won the O. Henry Prize that year. The young Mademoiselle editor who bought it was Truman Capote.

But Bradbury means more to me, and to millions of people, than literary trivia. My list of all the books I’ve read since 1971 tells me that I haven’t read anything by the man since I reread The Martian Chronicles in 1977. No one who has read my fiction would say I write anything like Ray Bradbury. Still, somehow, he’s in my DNA. R Is for Rocket, S Is for Space, The Golden Apples of the Sun, The Martian Chronicles, Fahrenheit 451 – those of us who discovered Bradbury in our youth and immediately loved him will always carry him with us. Somewhere back through all those decades, he wrote something that exploded inside my brain, or maybe my soul. Like the big bang that created the universe, that explosion is still spreading outward. I’m sure I’m not the only person on the planet who thought this today.

Bradbury’s story “Hail and Farewell” is about a boy who never grows up, though he desperately wants to. I wonder if Bradbury thought he was such a boy. Thank you for never growing up, Mr. Bradbury, and for writing so lyrically about it.