Archive for the ‘Miscellaneous’ Category

Anna Glassman 1 Key West 1960
Anna Bieler Glassman on her honeymoon in Key West, Florida, 1960

My Aunt Anna died today. She was born in 1919, the first of eight children, including my Dad. I think of Dad and his siblings as the Pioneer Generation – the first Bielers born in the United States.

Anna was a few weeks short of 95. She’d lived most of her life in Manhattan and loved every minute of it.

Anna was probably my biggest fan. Her late husband, Jerry, had been a playwright, and she was thrilled that I was a writer, too. Twice when I was in high school I spent a summer week with them in their book-packed apartment near Columbia University. Anna took me to bookstores, museums, and to the top of the Empire State Building. Jerry, who had been wrestling with writer’s block for years, talked to me about writers and writing. It was heady stuff for a kid from a nowhere town in rural Massachusetts.

For years, Anna asked me if I was writing and told me how she hoped to see my name on a book someday. When I went to New York in 2006 to give the toast at my cousin Philip’s wedding, she asked me again. I told her I had an idea for a novel and that this time it didn’t seem like the kind of idea that rides back into the ocean on the next tide. She said, “I want to live long enough to read it.” She didn’t, for which I am sorry.

The best I can do now is finish what I’ve started and write something good. “What I want is for a work of art to move me on as many levels as possible – I want it to split my sides, blow my mind, and break my heart.” (James Hannaham)

I had 16 aunts and uncles in 1967 when the last of them married, and I’m happy to say I knew them all. Here it is almost half a century later and I still have nine. How lucky is that?

Kind of a mixed up writing day here in the Write-a-thon, but as mixed up as it was it still added up to an hour.

The muse we really need

Today’s cartoon comes to us courtesy of noted Southern industrialist Jim Cobb. “Maybe you need this guy to help you finish your book,” Mr. Cobb says, and I can’t say I disagree. Duke Ellington once wrote, “I don’t need time. What I need is a deadline.” If I had a Muse like this one, or if I had a publisher waiting for a manuscript, I wouldn’t be struggling every day to turn out one good page. I wouldn’t be struggling at all, because I’d be terrified and the verb in the previous sentence would be “churn,” not “turn.”

Jim’s birthday was July 2, which is not a bad day for a birthday, though nowhere near as good as July 3.

I want a new drug
I had every intention of turning July 4 into a pretend-I’m-a-novelist day. I know that every novelist spends his or her working day (or night) differently, but here’s how I envisioned mine: Get up early, go for a brisk walk, eat a hearty breakfast, plow into my book for about four hours.

But it was my day off! And it was beautiful outside! The early part went out the window early, but we did manage the walk and the breakfast, along with a yard sale. I didn’t actually get going until 2. I eventually turned in 2.5 hours in the Write-a-thon.

If this is it
Just because you have a huge block of time ahead of you doesn’t mean you’ll use that huge block of time the way you’d originally planned. I’m accustomed to stealing time for my writing here and there. Like most writers, I do something else for a living, so my writing time is more hit-and-run than big productive blocks.

I wasn’t sure how to handle all those hours today. Writing is a muscle, and so is time management. You have to exercise them to keep them in shape. But by the time I got into the second hour I was getting my second wind. Overall, I’m happy with what I did today. I’m working a half-day tomorrow so I’ll try noveling for the other half. Get back in the zone, do some serious scaring, put up some big numbers.

You crack me up
Why am I using Huey Lewis & The Snooze songs for headlines? Because the Portland Mercury has produced one of the best bits of music journalism I’ve read this century. Granted, the bar in music journalism is set close to the floor, and taking Huey as your subject doesn’t help. But in “The Everyman Appeal of Huey Lewis,” Ned Lannamann and Ezra Ace Caraeff offer some real insight not just into that band but into the 1980s and pop music in general. If you like pop music, if you like Huey or like to laugh at Huey, you should read this.

 

Call me Scooter

Writing is dark and lonely work, and no one has to do it. No one will even care much if it doesn’t get done at all, so that choosing to do it and to try to do it well is enough of an existential errand, enough of a first step, and for whatever my money and counsel’s worth, enough of a last step, too. (Richard Ford)

No one has to do it. And because no one has to do it, because no one is standing over you with a whip and a chair, it’s very easy not to do it. I’ve written more words in my favorite coffee shop in Portland and on the fifth floor of the Vancouver Community Library than I have at home. That’s because both places have plenty of plugs for my wheezy laptop (the coffee shop also has raspberry coffee cake) and I can’t connect to the Internet in either. Well, I might be able to connect if I knew their wireless passwords, but I’ve never asked, and even if I knew them, my laptop would probably refuse to cooperate. It’s a real pal that way.

Today, after an interview for an editing job, some miscellaneous job-search stuff, and a walk in the fleeting sunshine, I got down to the business of fiction. But because I was working at home, I was immediately distracted by my email. I dealt with a couple of recruiters, answered messages I didn’t have to answer, and shut it down.

Then a question arose in what I was writing, and instead of scribbling it in my notebook to look up later, as I would if I were between bites of raspberry coffee cake, I succumbed to the Great God Google. Of course, I spent more time online than I needed.

I finally got in my hour and a half, but I would’ve been more efficient if I could learn to keep our instant-gratification culture at arm’s length. I probably could’ve hit two hours. If you blow 30 minutes online, you don’t get those 30 minutes back somewhere else.

Elizabeth Benedict said it best: “Write like a maniac. No one else will do it for you.”

Tomorrow’s challenge: How to end Chapter 5!

Random Pick of the Day
Paul Anka, Rock Swings (2005)
I respect Paul Anka for his creativity; he wrote for Buddy Holly and Frank Sinatra, and how many people can say that? But Anka is also responsible for three crimes against humanity: “Put Your Head on My Shoulder,” “Puppy Love,” and the ultimate in offensiveness at the molecular level, “(You’re) Having My Baby.”
Havin’ my baby
What a lovely way of sayin’ what you’re thinkin’ of me
Havin’ my ba– [sound of Hulk smashing puny human]

But admit it, Run-DMSteve, the man can sing. Rock Swings, an album of covers of mainstream and alternative hits from the 1980s and ’90s, stomps Pat Boone’s I’m In a Metal Mood (1997) into the dirt. Boone doesn’t take his metal originals seriously, plus he wouldn’t know how to deliver a song if he worked for FedEx.

Rock Swings is not Richard Cheese and his deliberately cornball covers (Aperitif for Destruction, 2005). Anka rearranges his choice of songs to find their essence, then delivers them as if they were the American songbook. Not every song works, but frankly I was stunned by his interpretations of Soundgarden’s “Black Hole Sun” and Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” Throw in Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger” and you’ve got a disc that just slips in as a Buy.

Dear Loyal Readers: Thank you for your many compassionate comments after we lost our dog, Storm Small. They’re much appreciated. Though we plan to recruit a new dog soon, we will never replace our little man. He was the comeback kid and our most valuable player.

But now I have to get my act together, because in one week I begin the Clarion West Writers Workshop Write-a-thon. I’ve pledged to write an hour a day and double the size of my novel by the time this marathon ends on August 2. Two people have already put up honest-to-God money to support me, which means no screwing around, I have to do it. All hail my supporters:

Karen G. Anderson
Mitch Katz

They will receive an original piece of Run-DMSteve art, which I will create once this thing is over, plus my ever-lasting, ever-lovin’ thanks!

During the course of the Write-a-thon I will post every day on this blog with something (I don’t know what yet) about my progress. Your comments are welcome, however snarky, and I thank you in advance for reading along. See you on Sunday night, June 23.

What’s so hard about Web 2.0?
In April, at a social-media marketing conference here in Portland, I attended a presentation about how even an idiot without a camera can make a video and post it on YouTube. The guy was right because now this idiot has done just that!

Random Pick of the Week
Roy Orbison, Mystery Girl (1989)
It’s about time I said something positive about Jeff Lynne (of ELO infamy) and here it is. He was one of the founders of The Traveling Wilburys. The Traveling Wilburys (Lynne, George Harrison, Tom Petty, Bob Dylan, Roy Orbison, and Jim Keltner) gave Orbison a new lease on his musical life. Lynne then went on to produce Orbison’s farewell, Mystery Girl, released the year he died.

Roy Orbison’s voice belonged in a higher league. When he recorded Mystery Girl, Orbison still had most of that voice left, and though the material at hand was inconsistent he did a fine job with “You Got It” (written by Lynne, Petty, and Orbison) and “She’s a Mystery to Me” (Bono and The Edge). Either of these songs would’ve made a fitting B-side to “Oh Pretty Woman,” and what greater compliment can you give? So thank you, Jeff Lynne.

Random Pan of the Week
Macklemore, “Thrift Shop” (2011)
Oh come on. “This is fucking awesome” is not a lyric. Macklemore’s vocabulary never gets out of second gear and he wouldn’t know a metaphor if it hit him with an impact equivalent to one U.S. ton of lead. “I’m a take your grandpa’s style/I’m a take your grandpa’s style/No for real – ask your grandpa – can I have his hand-me-downs?” The grandpa in the video is wearing the same clothes my Dad wears! Eat your heart out, kid – someday I’ll inherit all of Dad’s clip-on ties from the ’60s.

But the video is fun.

I’m not impressed by a white rapper named Macklemore. The guy to watch is Wallpaper. (OK, it’s four guys. Shut up.) Have you heard “#STUPiDFACEDD”? “White boy wasted/gluestick pasted.” This is fucking awesome!

Teddy Ballgame

Posted: June 13, 2013 in Dog reviews, Miscellaneous
Tags: , , ,

Teddy 08

His original name was Schroeder. He’d lost two homes by the time he was four. His first home was overcrowded. His second was negligent. He lived on the streets for a week. He came to us in October 2004 through CorgiAid and a series of coincidences worthy of  A Tale of Two Cities or Les Misérables. We named him Teddy, after a collie my Dad’s family had in the 1950s. Teddy won the lottery, and that first month we had him, the Red Sox won the World Series. We gave him his first nickname, Teddy Ballgame, after the great Red Sox left fielder Ted Williams.

Like all pets, Teddy collected many other names (Teodoro, Teddilini, Teddilicious, The Tedster, Mr. T.), but the important thing to him was having a permanent address. He worked hard to fit in. He studied us as if we were his senior thesis. He was younger, larger, and stronger than our senior dog, Emma, but he bared his neck to her and followed her lead. (When Emma decided to retire, she ceded all of her duties to Teddy, even though they had no written language and no HR department to manage the transition.)

Watch and learn, kid
Emma to Teddy: “Watch and learn, kid!”

In 2005, my sister and her daughter, Isabelle, visited us. Isabelle was 6. We couldn’t predict how Teddy would act with a small child. We found out later that Teddy had had these creatures in his first home. He melted in Isabelle’s presence. Anything she wanted to do, he’d do. Isabelle wrote Teddy a couple of letters after she left. Teddy dutifully answered them. Isabelle wanted to believe that Teddy was corresponding with her, but she had her suspicions. She told my mother, “I think Uncle Stevie is helping Teddy write these letters.”

Critters in motion
Critters in motion.

Teddy was a champion sleeper who could launch himself at his bed from three feet away and land curled up and conked out. But wide awake he ran amuck whenever visitors arrived. Then he found himself in lockdown (the back room). He was not much of a cuddler. He wrestled when you picked him up. He wrestled when you brushed him. He wrestled when you toweled him off. He barked louder than God and was more stubborn than Pharaoh. It was impossible not to love him.

Steve + Teddy guard the house 0607
Steve and Teddy guard the house.

Teddy never chased squirrels or cats out of our yard unless we made an official request. He disapproved of cats outside and feared them inside. He once tried to climb on Deborah’s head when a cat entered the room where they were sitting. He was not a good puppy player – he either didn’t like other dogs or didn’t know what to do with them. He wasn’t overweight but he was built like a tank. (A vet told me, “No, tanks are built like Teddy.”) He disliked running – even when he was young, I could outrun him. He wouldn’t run after an object unless that object was an Alpo Snap.

Teddy & tulips 1 April 2008
Ready for the county fair.

There was no place Teddy would rather be than with us, whether he was sleeping on the cool tiles of the hearth while we watched TV or under the table while we talked or riding in the car and hearing our voices or walking the banks of the Boise River or the beach at Manzanita or a college campus here in Portland. He especially liked it when we were all at home. Sometimes he’d sit on the back deck and look through the window at us inside. I like to think he was marveling at his good fortune, but he was a herding dog. Maybe he was just congratulating himself on keeping both of us in the barn.

Teddy waits for a lift 0108
Stairway to Teddy.

Our friend Bob says that when a dog can’t be a dog anymore, you’ve reached the end. As pet owners we have to have the guts to recognize that and act on it. We did that today. Teddy was 13. He’d come a long way for a small dog who started off in Tulsa and was homeless in Idaho.

Iron Mt 070410 wildflowers
Teddy conquers the wilderness.

Teddy loved kibble, scrambled eggs, baby carrots, the stalks of romaine leaves, rawhide chews, sidewalk mystery snacks, all representatives of the U.S. Postal Service, and coeds. For years he patiently sat on his pillow in the living-room window and watched the street until he willed us both to return home. I’ll miss that furry face in the window, our guardian, friend, and fellow traveler. Farewell, Teddy Ballgame, and thank you for walking us all this way.

Teddy worried about the snow 1208